Socks Are NOT Our Friends

Socks are the worst.

For one, socks are always lost. They're like the "drunk friend that you lose on the streets" of clothing. Everyone blames the dryer for this phenomenon, but I really don't think that's the case.
I'm almost positive that every sock comes with it's own personal ghost foot that puts that sock on and walks away with it whenever it pleases. I have literally set a sock down in a specific place so that I would remember where it was, and it has disappeared. This cannot be blamed on the dryer.

But the worst part about socks is holes. Like, you know when your big toe starts poking through a hole in your sock? And of course your big toe is super ticklish so you're dying inside but you're at a job interview or something important and you can't make any "oh my sweet jeepers, that tickles" faces or take your shoe off and rearrange your sockage so you just continue dying inside.
Or when you're at a house party and you have to take your shoes off because the host just got new carpet and oh dear, there's a hole in your sock and people might catch glimpses of your Frodo feet.

Socks are just unreliable. Socks are not our friends. Your favourite, nice, toasty warm sweater is your friend. Your jeans that fit you perfectly even after multiple Christmas dinners are your friends. (Why are "jeans" and "pants" plural even though they're just one clothing article? English is also the worst.) But socks are most absolutely not your friends. Possibly something to do with the fact that you use them to cover your disgusting feet and stick them in your disgusting shoes and you step on them like all the time (which of course is even worse after Christmas dinners.)

Socks are mischievous little sprites out to ruin all of our days. One little wrinkle and you can't concentrate on a single thing in the entire world. Godzilla could be stepping on the car next to you and you're still wiggling your foot around in your shoe.

Not saying we should be giving up socks. I'm just saying that they're a burden. One which we all must bear. Or wear. Or something.

Sweatpants In Public

Most of the time, I have a strict dress code for myself: No sweatpants in public. (This has obvious exceptions ie. at the gym or the hospital. But I avoid the gym at all costs and I try to stay out of the hospital as well so this doesn't apply often.) However, lately I've been venturing to Tim Hortons while wearing sweat pants. Perhaps this is because I've found the best sweat pants ever? (No.) Or maybe I've become comfortable with myself and I don't care what other people think. (No.) Or maybe I'm just lazy and don't care. (Probably.) Either way, I've been thinking about the two sides of this argument: To sweatpant in public or not to sweatpant in public?

Note: PJ pants are not sweatpants and those should stay at home in all cases. See People of Walmart Dot Com please.

To Sweatpant

Who cares what you're wearing? Clothing isn't a crucial part of our lives. It's not necessity and so why should we focus so much time on it? Why should anyone else care what I'm wearing? Besides, these sweatpants are designer and they cost more than your car.

Not To Sweatpant

Everyone judges you by what they see (at first, anyway.) So if they see you wearing the same sweatpants you were wearing last night, they are going to get a negative opinion of you. (They're going to think you're disgusting.) They don't know how much those pants cost. It's all about first impressions. Isn't that the point of fashion?
And don't even get me started on the issues I have with guys walking around in sweatpants. I know that many ladies agree with me when I say that there's no way everything is under control in that situation.


So what's your opinion? Are you for or against public sweatpants? Take a second to take the poll on the side of this page.

An Afterthought On Yoga Pants

While I was writing I got thinking about "Lulus" and how girls seem to think that yoga pants can be used as regular pants and can in fact be a dressy article of clothing. This is ridiculous and I strongly believe that you should never wear yoga pants to a formal occasion. Yoga pants are a piece of exercise attire so its like a dude wearing his spandex bike suit to a classy dinner. Think about that for a second.

Cosmetics are the Biggest Waste EVER.

I have no idea who reads this and who doesn't, but the important thing to know before we start off this rant is that I wear zero makeup. Nothing. The only exception to this is grade 8 grad and prom. Oh, and a few unfortunate acne days where coverup was necessary for me to function. Wait! Stop right there. That's the perfect sentence to sum up the problem with cosmetics. They're necessary for some people to function. But why?

Makeup (and other junk in the makeup family) is the most wasteful product there is (this is my opinion so it's obviously right.) At least plastic bags carry stuff and can be used again (Side note - Toronto is attempting to ban plastic bags. What are they going to put in the little garbage cans in the bathroom then?) Same with bottles. They can be recycled, and at least they had a purpose to begin with. These are the products people are concerned about, but no one ever mentions makeup and how it's totally pointless. Hold it, ladies who want to argue with me, I haven't explained myself yet.

Makeup is virtually pointless. Okay, so you have bags under your eyes or maybe you emerged from the more unfortunate end of the gene pool but so what? Eventually, the people who you love (I'm talking about men, dummies) are going to see you without makeup, and they're going to have to deal with what you really look like. So why lie to them with makeup in the first place? (That's right, I said LIE.) I place makeup in the same category as the pushup bra. The LIE category.

"But if I don't wear makeup he's going to go for that hot looking chick who is wearing makeup." This is true. Maybe someday women will give up on makeup and this won't be an issue. But until then, yes, you may lose some conquests to that girl with the glittery eyelashes. But don't worry, because their relationship will be built on LIES and will end in a messy breakup, broken dishes and running mascara. (Did I just point out ANOTHER bonus of no makeup?)

Okay, but here's where we start with the real issues. Resources, duh! Think about the stuff that goes into making makeup, and don't even get me started on the packaging. Ugh, it's so frustrating how much stuff is wasted. And then think about all the stuff that you buy but you never use. And it's expensive (I assume, as I've never bought my own.)

This brings us to money. Did you know that the amount of money spent on cosmetics in one year (that would be about 7 billion dollars, I did the research for you) could be used to fund education for more than a billion African children? Now you feel like a total jerk, don't you? But let's bring it back and talk about something a little closer to home. How about those people who are on welfare, or with crappy jobs who complain that they don't have a lot of money. Well, excuse me, lady, but I don't give a flying fingernail file about your problem if you're wearing a ton of makeup (I'll make this same annoyed statement if I ever choose to write about lottery tickets.) Obviously you have enough money to pay for your glitter. (This is being too hypocritical, maybe, but leave me alone, I'm proving a point.)

Of course, you can apply everything I've said to home renovations and decorations, clothing and gardens and this blog too. It's about looking good and feeling good, right? I'm just saying, it's not that important, and if we all stopped bothering with it, then it wouldn't matter. People would be beautiful just the way they are and blah blah blah. And we would have billions of extra dollars kicking around and WAY less monkeys running around with shiny red lips and pink nails. Right? Right. I know this hasn't convinced any of you, but I had to get it out of my brain.

Alene