The Alcohol vs. Weed Argument According To Me

Okay, I'm going to write it all out here and from now on whenever the conversation comes up I'm going to just hand out cards with this link on them. If you need background on the alcohol vs. weed thing, just Google it like normal humans. Okay, anywhooo...

I don't even 100% know why this is a debate because it's all about personal preference right? People who prefer weed will argue for weed, people who enjoy alcohol will argue for alcohol. There are countless websites that will tell you all kinds of info about both of them and they'll try to sway your opinion and whatever. (Have you ever been to marijuana.com? It's actually hilarious because everyone who posts comments on there is like the most typical stoner. Check it out and have a laugh, but remember that stuff they post on there about marijuana is super biased.)

That being said, let's get it out there that I do not smoke "the pot." I'm not just saying this because my mommy or grandma might read this, I'm saying it because it's true. I don't do it. This is a personal choice. And without getting into any more details, that is that.

But I do not condemn those who do smoke. I don't care. Just keep it away from me and I'm happy. (I have mixed feelings about the smell of weed. Sometimes I don't mind it and sometimes I want to rip off the heads of those people who are polluting my precious air. So you should probably just keep it away from me.)

On the other hand, I do enjoy consuming alcohol from time to time. I DON'T enjoy getting blackout drunk and throwing up in hot tubs. So here's the first point against alcohol: Too much of it. I know, you can smoke too much weed and green out. Yes, that's a thing. But it happens a lot less often. Although I might argue that people who black out often probably also smoke weed while they're drinking, but that's a stereotype and stereotypes are bad so pretend I didn't even bring that up. (But I did bring it up and it's pretty accurate.) 

Blacking out aside, alcohol in a small amount is great. It's social, it's "sophisticated," and it gives you that super happy feeling inside. And it's LEGAL. There's a big point against the pot. I don't care what anyone says about how harmless it is, pot is illegal until it's legal. And we have to assume there are reasons for that. I know, it's often unenforced in some countries, and it's essentially legal in some (did you know that pot isn't technically legal in the Netherlands, they just don't enforce the laws at all?) but it's illegal in most places. When you can buy pot at a corner store, we can start up a whole different conversation.

And then there's this whole idea held by extreme pot smokers and a lot of other people too, that you can't get addicted to weed. It's true, addiction to weed is nothing like cocaine or heroin. There aren't any physical withdrawal symptoms from weed, but you can become psychologically addicted, that's a known fact. And of course, alcoholism is a huge deal and it affects tons of people, but at least people who drink alcohol can admit that it's possible to be addicted. 

Here is my biggest problem with weed though, and it's where I'm going to end this tiny debate. For the most part, unless someone is an alcoholic or an idiot, people do not drink alcohol while they're going about their daily things. However, people seem to think it's okay to smoke weed whenever they feel like it throughout the day and everything will be fine. Well, guess what? No, it's not fine. People drive while high, work while high, take care of their kids while high. YOU'RE HIGH! I don't care how functional you think you are. You're still under the influence of a substance. Your reaction time is impaired, you're not thinking your best. If your day is so difficult that you need to smoke weed to get through it, well guess what, buddy? You have a psychological addiction, congratulations.

And it's not like people aren't going to notice. Not everyone is super naive. People know. 

So that's my biggest argument, and I feel like it trumps anything you have to say about alcohol. Yes, I know people DO drive while drunk, but it's a lot less common than driving while high. And that's scary.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get a huge argument going in the comments.... so let me know what you think about the whole thing.

7 Reasons You Look Super Cool Drinking Beer (Or Super Lame Not Drinking Beer)

1. When you have a beer, and people around you don't have a beer, everyone else wants a beer, and thus become extremely jealous that you have one. This is fairly simple and obvious. Even people who don't like beer are hypnotised by how thirst-quenching it looks, and I don't know anyone who would deny that.

2. You're not drinking a wimpy vodka cooler. Trust me a cooler does not make you look cooler, despite the misleading name. Vodka coolers are for wimps. (Note: I'm going to be completely honest and admit that coolers are too sweet for me and make me throw up every time, but that little issue is saving me from a whole lot of looking super lame.) No song has every been written about someone with an ice-cold Woody's in their hand.

3. Pointing at stuff with your beer bottle. You cannot point at stuff with a wine glass. You cannot point at stuff with a rye and coke. The only thing that is cooler than pointing with a beer is pointing with a cigarette but smoking is bad for you, so the beer will have to do (because alcohol has no negative effects on your life or health whatsoever).

4. You don't look like a pretentious jerk. (UNLESS you're drinking an obscure, unheard of, super expensive, gluten-free beer. Then you look like an a-hole.) When you're drinking scotch, you just kind of look like a snob, unless you're at a country club or have a monocle.

5. You look like a fun time. Everyone knows that people who drink beer are fun and laid back. But not too fun that you're going to be arrested (vodka) or end up naked in public (tequila).

6. It's like a special club. People will share their beer with you. If you're a known beer drinker, fellow beer lovers will share their brews with you, simply because you didn't have one in your hand at that second. No one shares their coolers like that because you can only but them four at a time. And no one's going to mix you a drink with their rum.

7. Because you're obviously loving your beer, and that makes you cool. Okay, that one's pretty stupid, but "6 reasons for something" for some reason sounds kinda lame.

Share any other reasons you can think of and be entered for a chance to win a beer*!







*You will not really win a beer, but you can go to your fridge and get one if you want.