Yes, I Pay For My Music. I Also Pay For Chapstick, What's It To You? This Title Is Too Long.

Do not buy this album.
Go get a Cold Cut Combo instead.

The dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life was buy Evan Taubenfeld's album. It's terrible. Quite possibly the worst album I've ever heard. "But, Alene, why did you buy this album? And who the h-e-double mozzarella sticks is Evan Taubenfeld?" I will tell you, dear readers.

Evan Taubenfeld is (was?) the guitarist for a little lady named Avril Lavigne. You may or may not have heard of her. When I was a youngster Avril was basically my favourite person ever. It was partially because we're basically from the same town, but also because her first album was completely legit, unlike the less-legit junk she spews out these days. (I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.) So, I knew everything about Avril's band and when I saw somewhat recently (last year? The year before?) that Evan had released an album, I thought, "Yeah, I'll support him. It can't be that bad. Here's my ten bucks." Like I said, dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. And one time I drank a cappuccino and an Amp energy drink within 15 minutes of each other and threw up for three days because of it.

The point of all this is that my main reason for purchasing this unfortunate album was to support the artist. Yes, I sacrificed the dollarly equivalent of a footlong sub to help this dude make more horrid music. In retrospect, I would really have preferred the sub. But this is how I look at it: This dude thought his tunes were good, and his mama is probably pretty proud of him. I say, "probably" because it's possible that this guy made an album that not even a mother could love. But clearly someone thought it was good enough to put on iTunes. (I'm sorry, this is a joke because I'm pretty sure there are albums on iTunes that are just the sounds of people pouring cold water onto a hot frying pan and painting their cats. If you want to know what a cat being painted sounds like, listen to any Downlink song.)

So, conclusions and some confessions of hypocrisy:

I pay for most of my music. The only real exception is like Taylor Swift and the Biebs, because they don't need financial help making music anymore. But when it comes to the less popular bands that I like to listen to, I always purchase on iTunes. Unless they're giving it away for free themselves, on purpose. Then I take full advantage.

This being said, I may or may not have on occasion MAYBE (this is NOT a confession of guilt. I refuse to say anything else without a lawyer present.) watched a film or two online without paying. But why is this any different? Without going into details because I don't want to reveal how little I know about the film industry, the short answer is, I feel like actors have it easier than musicians. Yeah, they starve themselves to fit roles and spend days covered in fake blood and dirt to make fun movies that we love to watch. But musicians tour all over the place and sleep in vans and starve themselves so they can afford to make one more single AND they're covered in dirt and blood because their moms never taught them how to do laundry before they went on tour. Maybe I'm wrong though (haha, that never happens) and actors are actually worse off. Also worthy of noting, if I had to give up either watching films or listening to music, I think I would pick films. (Because I REALLY only like going to the movies for the popcorn.)

Basically, don't be an a-hole. If you want your favourite artists to keep making music, you'll have to cough up some credit. (Because who buys real CDs with real money these days?)

Professional Athletes

So the NHL lockout is over. I guess I'm happy? I don't really care. I mean I enjoy watching hockey but I don't think I actually missed it. When you think about it, professional sports are possibly the biggest joke in western society.

Here's a reminder to pro athletes: Your job is to PLAY A GAME. Settle down. Some people sit in their basements and dominate at World of Warcraft every day. These people are called "losers" even though who says that WoW is any less legit than hockey or baseball? Someone could pay them to do it and broadcast their quests on live TV. That would be the EXACT same thing. There's still a certain amount of skill involved and you're still getting paid to contribute absolutely nothing to society.

Here's my other big issue with professional athletics. If you're truly an amazing player, you should be able to take the most simple, least technologically advanced equipment, and play with it. Having these Ultra-flex FX-7000 Super-Mega Hockey Sticks is, in my opinion, pretty much cheating. It's like when Harry got the Nimbus 2000 and everyone else was riding around on Cleansweeps. Not fair. Because not everyone can afford the best of everything. I'm talking about the kids who are trying to get into the NHL or MLB or NBA (although I kind of feel like there's only so much you can do with a pair of b-ball shoes to make them better than another pair of b-ball shoes.) If this fancy equipment really makes SUCH a difference, it shouldn't be allowed.
Maybe we should wonder then if it really makes a difference at all or if it's all in your head because those shoes are SUPPOSED to make you jump 17 ft. in the air so CLEARLY that's how high you must be jumping right now. If one hockey stick is worth three times as much as another hockey stick, I'm expecting something kind of more like a rocket launcher that shoots pucks at 200mph.

These days, less fortunate kids, no matter how naturally talented they are, have almost NO chance of getting anywhere in sports because they can't pay to play. That's the kind of crushing heartbreak that ruins a person's life and makes them miserable in whatever job they do find. There's no such thing as kids being discovered in back alleyways by tough-but-kind coaches. That only happens in movies like The Mighty Ducks, not real life. (I know. The Blind Side was a movie about the true story of a kid who got taken off the streets and made it to the NFL. First rule of life: There are exceptions to every rule.)

In closing, my fellow people, it's all just a giant money grab, right? They get paid millions to play a game while the less-significant members of the population pay for tickets, t-shirts, jerseys, beer and chicken wings and watch the games. Sure, there are people making a living off of it, and we're all just trying to make it any way we can, right? But the people who are making the money off of pro sports are rarely making any reasonable amount. They're like Scrooge McDuck rich and they're not sharing it with ANYONE.
I don't really have a conclusion or a suggestion or a plan or anything. And I've been begging my father all morning to buy me Habs vs. Sens tickets. So this feels like a perfect place to stop so that you can have a chance to think about what I said and write a comment about how the NHL is fuelling something rather in the economy and bread tastes way better when Sydney Crosby is on the packaging and blah blah blah.

Note: This whole thing can be applied to movie stars and musicians in a way.