What's Rock and Roll Anyway?

Anyone who has had anything to do with me on social media sites knew that this post was coming.

Whenever someone asks me what my favourite band is, I fully expect eye rolls and scoffing when I tell them that it's Fall Out Boy. Apparently it's "cool" to hate FOB. Or, it was.

But really, hating on Fall Out Boy is so 2008.

Or, it was.

Now, after a five year hiatus, the boys are back together and they have released a new album called Save Rock And Roll. Although, if you spend a lot of time in certain regions of the internet, you may be coerced into believing that they've sliced rock and roll's neck, thrown it in the back of a sedan and driven that sedan off a cliff instead of saving it.

Now, I can't be bothered with signing up for every website in order to argue against these buffoons who think they wrote the book on rock and roll and have a say in what is and isn't part of the genre. So, I've decided to write this.

This is a quote from a really good review of the new album on albsolutepunk.net:

"Elvis Presley was one quoted as saying, "Rock and Roll music, if you like it, if you feel it, you can't help but move to it." And while the internet will be plastered with reviews of this record taking issue with the band releasing an album that has the audacity to call itself Save Rock And Roll, the King already described every listen I've had with this album. I've worn out the soles in my shoes from tapping my foot so damn hard." - Jason Tate

I suggest you check out the whole review because, if nothing else, it's entertaining.

These guys are 30 years old. If they were still making pop-punk they would be a complete joke. (I'm talking to you, Jimmy Eat World. Sorry.) And as Jay-Z said, "N***** want my old s***, buy my old albums." Pop-punk is dying. And I hate to say it, because I love it. (I bought an old Brand New album not too long ago and jammed out to it hard. I don't know what the point of this factoid is. I think I just wanted to say "old Brand New album.") There's a time and place for pop-punk. And unfortunately 2013 is neither. However, if you really want it, there are still countless bands trying to make pop-punk happen, just do a quick search on iTunes.

And there's nothing wrong with changing your sound. In the same way that you don't listen to Barney and Friends' Greatest Hits anymore, your favourite bands may have had a change in their musical tastes. I think we can all understand and respect that.

Let's talk about Train in Vain by The Clash. That song was so punk rock, right? I'm really glad The Clash never strayed from their punk sound. It would have been just awful if they had decided to try their hand at a pop song. I'm sure it would have sounded terrible and never would have ranked #298 on The Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list. (*shakes head*)

Or *pulls artists name from hat* Taylor Swift! She made a purely pop album but was still nominated for country music awards. And it was the pop music lovers who cut that album apart. Country fans ate it up, for the most part. Although, to be fair, I think country fans are a little more easy going when it comes to pop music than rock fans are.

But who cares about genres anyway? Why can't we just listen to a song and like it or dislike it? Why do we have to categorize it and rip it apart for not being part of a certain genre? Who cares!? A genre is a concept that was invented so we can easily discover new bands to like. There is no genre better than another. It's all relative to who you are and what sounds your ears like to hear. Some studies say that we like certain music based on our normal heart rate and other biological stuff. For example, I am generally not a fan of slow songs. Nothing against the artist or the art of writing a ballad. I just prefer a faster song. This makes sense if we take the heart rate theory into consideration.

And besides, these days there are too many subgenres and mixing of genres to even get a clear view of where bands belong. Why do bands have to belong anywhere? You're not the boss of them.

"Your old stuff was better" arguments aside, there are those who will always, no matter what, hate Fall Out Boy. "They're the worst band ever. They couldn't write a good song if it kicked them in the knee. Pete Wentz is a dick. Patrick used to be fat lol."

But it's funny, because somehow this terrible band has managed to sell out every single show on their comeback tour. Within hours of releasing the tickets. I would love to see all of these amateur internet critics take their s****y garage bands on tour and sell out a hole-in-the-wall pub, let alone any sizeable venue.

Even Nickelback, who, according to Twitter, is the worst band that ever existed, fills arenas every night. What's that about? Is it possible that they make music that certain people can relate to and enjoy? (I like Nickelback's old stuff. They're a bit repetitive though. They should take a page from FOB's book and change it up a bit. But of course, then everyone would hate them for changing. It's tough out there.)

But, at the end of the day, Fall Out Boy didn't make this album for you. They made it for themselves. They've made that unbelievably clear. They said it themselves, "It's what you love, not who loves you."

But why do I love Fall Out Boy? The simple answer might be that marrying Patrick Stump is my greatest desire. Oh, did you guys think it was about their music? (That was a joke. It is the music! It is!) Patrick has a way of writing hooks that I just can't get enough of. And Pete's lyrics are a mystery that I love to try to solve. But he never means what you think he means. And I can't even start about Patrick's voice because I don't know any words that mean "more beautiful than a thousand angels' whispers flowing over the strings of a violin." I really love him, okay!?

This morning, when I saw that the band had released the album early, I actually had a few tears. I don't cry about stuff. It was weird, to say the least. I don't like feelings. I worry about my actions when I see them live in a month and a half. However, this isn't a review of the album, so I'm only going to say that I've been listening to Rat A Tat (ft. Courtney Love) for I think two hours straight.

Wrapping this up now. I'm sorry if you're stuck in a land where only one genre is good enough. It's a lot more fun to live song-to-song. If you like it, then like it. If you don't then shut up.

"So, f*** you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be."

The album isn't out for real until April 16, but the band has released it on Soundcloud, so enjoy.
Save Rock And Roll

Yes, I Pay For My Music. I Also Pay For Chapstick, What's It To You? This Title Is Too Long.

Do not buy this album.
Go get a Cold Cut Combo instead.

The dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life was buy Evan Taubenfeld's album. It's terrible. Quite possibly the worst album I've ever heard. "But, Alene, why did you buy this album? And who the h-e-double mozzarella sticks is Evan Taubenfeld?" I will tell you, dear readers.

Evan Taubenfeld is (was?) the guitarist for a little lady named Avril Lavigne. You may or may not have heard of her. When I was a youngster Avril was basically my favourite person ever. It was partially because we're basically from the same town, but also because her first album was completely legit, unlike the less-legit junk she spews out these days. (I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.) So, I knew everything about Avril's band and when I saw somewhat recently (last year? The year before?) that Evan had released an album, I thought, "Yeah, I'll support him. It can't be that bad. Here's my ten bucks." Like I said, dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. And one time I drank a cappuccino and an Amp energy drink within 15 minutes of each other and threw up for three days because of it.

The point of all this is that my main reason for purchasing this unfortunate album was to support the artist. Yes, I sacrificed the dollarly equivalent of a footlong sub to help this dude make more horrid music. In retrospect, I would really have preferred the sub. But this is how I look at it: This dude thought his tunes were good, and his mama is probably pretty proud of him. I say, "probably" because it's possible that this guy made an album that not even a mother could love. But clearly someone thought it was good enough to put on iTunes. (I'm sorry, this is a joke because I'm pretty sure there are albums on iTunes that are just the sounds of people pouring cold water onto a hot frying pan and painting their cats. If you want to know what a cat being painted sounds like, listen to any Downlink song.)

So, conclusions and some confessions of hypocrisy:

I pay for most of my music. The only real exception is like Taylor Swift and the Biebs, because they don't need financial help making music anymore. But when it comes to the less popular bands that I like to listen to, I always purchase on iTunes. Unless they're giving it away for free themselves, on purpose. Then I take full advantage.

This being said, I may or may not have on occasion MAYBE (this is NOT a confession of guilt. I refuse to say anything else without a lawyer present.) watched a film or two online without paying. But why is this any different? Without going into details because I don't want to reveal how little I know about the film industry, the short answer is, I feel like actors have it easier than musicians. Yeah, they starve themselves to fit roles and spend days covered in fake blood and dirt to make fun movies that we love to watch. But musicians tour all over the place and sleep in vans and starve themselves so they can afford to make one more single AND they're covered in dirt and blood because their moms never taught them how to do laundry before they went on tour. Maybe I'm wrong though (haha, that never happens) and actors are actually worse off. Also worthy of noting, if I had to give up either watching films or listening to music, I think I would pick films. (Because I REALLY only like going to the movies for the popcorn.)

Basically, don't be an a-hole. If you want your favourite artists to keep making music, you'll have to cough up some credit. (Because who buys real CDs with real money these days?)

My Favourite F-Bomb Dropping Tunes

Sometimes nothing turns that frown upside down like a good f-bomb dropping in a good song. Here are the songs that contain my personal favourite lyrical f-bombs:

10. Mama - My Chemical Romance - I just really like when Gerard Way wails f-words.

9. The Stand - Mother Mother - Oh, what a pleasant surprise, the song is not bleeped out, you guys are just the greatest of tricksters.

8. Fuck You I'm Drunk - Flogging Molly (APPARENTLY there is some argument over who actually sings this song, but I'm sticking with Molly on this.) - The title says it all, man.

7. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morrisette - It's around the time that the Big F is released that we know sh*t just got crazy real and we should all be terrified of this tiny lady. Actually, it might be more realistic to say we're all terrified of her from the moment that she opens her mouth in this song.

6. Minority - Green Day - I've been enjoying this particular tune since I was about 10 so I couldn't keep it off the list, could I?

5. Kill Me - The Pretty Reckless - There's just something about hearing Cindy Lou Who say "motherfucking" that makes me really happy and stuff.

4. The Art of Losing - American Hi-Fi - I don't even have anything to say about this one, just go listen to it and feel empowered and junk.

3. What Are You Looking At - The Johnstones - "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you stupid fucking sh*t." Nuf said.

2. @!#?@! - Motion City Soundtrack - This song just kind of makes me want to go on a rampage and pump my fist while I watch other people flip cars. But more importantly, it's the most fun I've ever had singing, "fuck."

1. Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit - If there's one thing Fred Durst got right, it's the way he says "f**k." I don't care what anyone says.


There are obviously a billion more, and apparently I like to stick to the same genre when it comes to f-bombs. These are just my go-tos. Share your favourites below! And have a nice day.

10 Artists Who Made My Year

These days, the internet makes it really easy to find awesome music. It's actually a little overwhelming at times. There's a lot of amazing stuff out there and not enough time to listen to it all. However, we all manage to find our favourite artists. Although the following artists may not count as my favourite of all time, here is a list of the artists I've enjoyed the most over the last 12 months.

10. Train

I saw Train in concert a little more than a year ago and it reminded me how good their oldies are. I rediscovered Meet Virginia and that was enough for me. Pat Monahan can be kind of a jerk in real life but he makes up for it by having an amazing, original voice (although he's kind of creepy looking, isn't he?) It was nice to see them raise from the musical darkness. They're pretty mainstream but alternative enough that they're pleasing to most people, so a good background music choice for sure.

My Fave: Calling All Angels

9. Zac Brown Band

I'm not really sure what kind of person could possibly dislike this band. Zac Brown has an amazing voice, and their songs are undeniably catchy. A good band for a day on the boat or sitting lakeside.

My Fave: Keep Me In Mind

8. Every Avenue

Up and comers in the alternative rock world. I honestly discovered this band by walking up to the Alternative section at HMV and grabbing the first cool looking CD I saw. I've since seen them play live and developed an enormous crush on the lead singer.
My Fave: Clumsy Little Heart

7. Jack Johnson

This is funny because I used to kind of hate this guy. Something to do with his song Sitting, Wishing, Waiting that rubbed me the wrong way. Now though, I love his laid back tunes, and his albums are my go-to easy listening/background choices.

My Fave: From The Clouds

6. Paramore

You can't deny that Hayley Williams is the female face of alternative rock/pop rock/whatever you'd like to call it. And she's only 23. Not that there are too many female faces in that genre. Paramore is definitely one of my favourite bands of all time, and I never get sick of listening to them. It's really awesome to see that a lot of their songs have made it into some mainstream playlists. I think it's a good time to mention that at one time my younger brothers would never admit to liking a girl singer (I KNOW, right?) and Misery Business was definitely the first female-vocaled song they admitted to enjoying.

My Fave: For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic

5. Neon Trees

I don't even really know what to say about Neon Trees. They have a female drummer (which seems to be a rising trend, yay) and they're just awesome. That's it. Awesome. They're different from a lot of stuff that's out there right now, and in a very good way. The new album, Picture Show,  is a big change from Habits, but I think they're headed in a good direction.

My Fave: Moving in the Dark

4. Patrick Stump

Fall Out Boy will forever hold the number one band place in my heart. Say what you will, but FOB introduced me to an entire genre of music that I hadn't really listened to before, and my life is a lot better because of it. That being said, Patrick's solo stuff is nothing like FOB, so get that out of your head. However, it is excellent in its own way. There's nothing like it right now. And he plays every single instrument on the album himself. No computers. That doesn't happen very often these days. Oh, did I mention that his is the voice that angels sing with?

My Fave: Allie

3. Rise Against

There are certain bands that you need to be in a certain mood to listen to. For me, Rise Against is definitely not one of those bands. I can listen to them anytime, anywhere. I know they aren't for everyone, so this isn't the stuff I'd be playing at parties. But for me, this is the kind of band that you get something new from every time you listen. The lyrics are fantastic, and that's what I care about most a lot of the time.
My Fave: Paper Wings


2. The Cab

These guys are all in their early 20s but their music is amazing. They're on their way to being a huge hit, I can tell. Catchy music and catchy lyrics and an excellent vocalist. Can you ask for anything more in a band? No, I think that's you need. Onward with the alternative rock takeover or something! I keep hearing new things in their songs that I love. Not to mention, I heard one of their songs on Sirius Hits so I guess that's as good a sign as any. The only thing I wish would change is the lead singer's long greasy hair, but you can't have everything, folks.
My Fave: This City Is Contagious

1. Marianas Trench

I've loved MT since the very first "ooo ooooooooo ooo" in Shake Tramp and I've been wowed several times by their excellent live performances. I used to compare them to Hedley but in light of Hedley's complete and terrible sell-out I've put Marianas Trench nearer to the top of my Top Bands list and thrown Hedley in the garbage (well attempted to. I can take them back out, but I'm getting off topic now.) Josh Ramsay is a genius both lyrically and musically. Example: He produced Call Me Maybe. I don't need to make any more of an argument for him now, do I? His voice is excellent. It sounds good live, and it sounds good no matter what it is he's singing. Aaaand all four band members can sing. They have lovely harmonies which in my opinion make a lot of their songs sound very original. It does annoy me that they've become a mainstream hit and I have to share my love of them with a bunch of annoying fan girls. (Just kidding, kinda.)
My Fave: Perfect





Of course, I do not own any of these images, YouTube vids, or the tracks themselves.

Dumb Band Names

Some bands have killer names. Some bands maybe should have thought twice:


Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. This is stupid. We get it, you flipped through the dictionary and randomly chose these words. (Or did you? I'm a little skeptical and feel as if there could have been some cheating going on. A "red jumpsuit apparatus" sounds like it could be an actual thing.) Seriously though, people can't even spell apparatus.

Panic! at the Disco. Thank you for adding unnecessary punctuation to a world that can't handle the punctuation it already has.

Foo Fighters. Regardless of what the meaning of "foo fighter" is (Google it) the word itself sounds ridiculous, and so I deem this band name dumb.

Hot Chelle Rae. That doesn't even flow, dudes. And when I first saw it I really, seriously thought that this had to be a girl singing.

Cobra Starship. Two things that really don't seem to go together. There's a lot of imagery here. I'm seeing snake aliens. And now your band name has interested me more than your music does.

Fountains of Wayne. Who is Wayne? Why is he in fountains? What are you guys talking about? On that note, where did you guys go? Nevermind, that's for another post.

311. What? Should I say "three hundred and eleven" or "three eleven" or "three one one?" I don't want to have to read instructions on how to say a band's name.

twenty | one | pilots. In the words of Liz Lemon, "Nope, hipster nonsense. I'm out."

Hoobastank. What's that even mean? I don't even want to know. I feel like it might be something dirty.

Limp Bizkit. Let's look beyond the Urban Dictionary definition of "limp bizkit" (DON'T type "Limp Bizkit" into Urban Dictionary. DON'T type "Limp Bizkit" into Urban Dictionary. DON'T type "Limp Bizkit" into Urban Dictionary.) I don't even have to explain why this is a stupid name. Changing a couple letters to make a lame word like "biscuit" in an attempt to look cool (the coolness level is still questionable) does not mean your band name will be awesome, clearly.

Billy Talent. Old people think this is one dude. But it's not one dude. It's terribly misleading, and so, dumb.

Top 5 Concert Fouls

Here are some common concert-going moves that I personally deem to be Concert Fouls. You've seen them all before.

5. Giant bags that take up the space of an entire person. Seriously, girls? What's in there that you need that badly? You're at a concert. You need money, ID, phone and your ticket. A small purse will work fine and you won't be that annoying jerk who turns around and knocks everyone over. Also in this category, backpacks. Why do you need a backpack? Your drugs are stored in your sock, there's no reason for the BP.

4. The Boyfriend Hugging Girlfriend From Behind Stance. No one's gonna steal her, man. She's not going to try to escape and get with someone else. You were her ride there, it's safe to assume you're her ride home. Plus after a while, she probably wants to cut your arms off and beat you over the head with them.

3. Throwing your belongings. What is wrong with you? That shoe cost you 80 bucks and you just threw it into the air. Not only is it probably going to hit someone in the face, but you lost half of a pair of shoes, and you still have to get home tonight. Okay, okay, so you're super hardcore, you don't need shoes. But you should still be considerate of the person who catches your smelly shoe or sweaty t-shirt.

2. Filming the entire concert on your cellphone. Come on. You're at the concert right now. Stop trying to get the best shot and just enjoy the real thing. You'll never watch what you recorded and even if you do, you'll only be able to hear the girl beside you, singing the wrong lyrics, all off key. And everyone behind you wants to kill you because your phone is right in their view of the cute guitar player.

1. Concert Apparel. This one needs to be broken down into sections.

a) Wearing another band's tee to the concert. No. Stop it.
b) Buying a shirt at the merch table and immediately putting it on.
c) Wearing the band's t-shirt from another concert.
d) Homemade shirt. Never make homemade shirts.

Why am I so picky about what t-shirt to wear? You're at the concert already. We know you like the band, we know you like music. You don't need to prove it by wearing the band on your shirt. It's lame, it's a big cliche, and it's my biggest concert foul.

A Musical Ranting - Don't Judge A Song By Its Song Information

Everyone loves music. I don't think a lot of people would say that they dislike it as a whole, maybe the occasional grumpy old guy. But I hate listening to or reading about people who call out and spit on one type of music, claiming it "sucks" or whatever.

I'm just going to come right out and say that you CANNOT DISLIKE AN ENTIRE MUSICAL GENRE. "But country is terrible, it's all about losing your wife and your truck," some idiot probably just said. No, it's not. Country is a vast genre that actually takes aspects of all kinds of other music. There are different types of country music. You do not dislike them all. Maybe you dislike the country music that's "all about losing your wife and your truck."

The same goes with pop music, and this is going to send me onto another rant (thanks to you indie music people.) Answer this question: How can you only like indie music? Isn't it true that every band is looking to be signed so they can become popular? You cannot tell me that if your favourite unsigned band were to be signed and started getting played on the radio that you would boycott their songs.

And although I will admit that some (okay, a lot) of the music that's on the radio today is pretty much made from the same formula and the same clubs beats, but there are exceptions. I don't think its fair to assume that just because a song is popular, that it's "bad," or "stupid," or "fake," or whatever.

This goes for taking the artist into account when choosing what to listen to. Just because you maybe didn't like someone's songs before, or because you read about something stupid they did in the National Enquirer, don't assume that their songs will be terrible or refuse to listen to them. Other people worked hard to make this music too, so give it a chance.

So when it comes down to it, just like the songs you like and dislike the songs you dislike, but at least give the song a chance. Don't judge a song by its "song information." I'm sick of listening to people bashing an entire genre of music because one time they heard one crappy dubstep song and the whole genre must be just like that one. There's music out there that can hardly be placed in one genre. Honestly, there are no rules when you're making music. You don't have to stray away from hip hop if you're a rock artist, and you can add a little bit of rock to your country ( I'm terrified of the day that dubstep and country meet up, but you never know.)

To add to this I would just like to say that people on the internet can be the worst musical critics. While you're hiding behind a computer you can be as cynical as you like and no one can stop you. I would know, because I love shoving my opinion down people's throats on the internet (only in blog form, I try not to get into youtube comment arguments and stuff because I don't like being called bad names.) People will chirp any song they want with no reason. So don't go listening to what people have to say on the internet (except for me. Listen to what I tell you, all the time, definitely) just listen to the song for yourself and maybe you'll find something that you didn't even know you loved.