Eating Alone

When I was in first year uni, sitting in the cafeteria, one of my friends commented on a girl sitting near us who was eating by herself. She said something along the lines of, "Oh, that's so sad, I feel like I should go sit with her." I laughed and responded, "I eat lunch here by myself pretty much every day."

Is that what most people think about people in restaurants who are eating by themselves? I eat by myself all the time. There is nothing wrong with it. Answer this: Which is sadder, eating by yourself, or walking around hungry because you're too self-conscious to eat alone?

I don't see anything sad about eating alone, although now I'm constantly concerned that people are watching me and commenting to their friends that I must be so sad and lonely. And maybe I am a bit lonely, but at least I'm not lonely AND hungry, you know what I'm saying? I just don't have time to coordinate my schedule with another person's so that I can get sustenance without looking like I have no friends.

I do thank the technological gods that laptops exist, because when you're eating and using your laptop, it looks like you're doing some real important work and simply had to take a break to eat at some point. But I think a book does the same thing. I used to bring my textbooks to the cafeteria, and that's where I got most of my readings done. (Tip for fellow students.)

Yes, eating has become a social ritual, but it doesn't have to be. Humans plan events around food. Think about it. "Let's watch reruns of Dexter and order pizza." "Let's crack open some wine and feast on this brie." "I  can't wait to get a hot dog at the hockey game tonight." We associate food with everything and that's okay. Just last night I went to the movies and I was more excited for popcorn than I was for the movie. (While we're on that topic, I will say that I am definitely not comfortable enough with myself to go see a movie alone.) So, it makes sense that when we see someone eating all alone, we think that they must be sad about the whole situation. But we have to remember, humans eat because we have to, not because we want to sit around and catch up on all the hot gossip with our friends.

It's actually weird that we eat together. I don't know about everyone else but when I'm by myself I enjoy eating a lot more. This is probably because I can and will act like a disgusting pig and no one knows. I also throw the 10 second rule out the window when I'm eating by myself, but that's a different story.

I don't know if people think about this as much as I think they do, but clearly there are people out there who do. I think the only thing I can really say about it is that it's all about comfort. Some people are uncomfortable being alone. Some people can't go to the bathroom alone, some people can't go shopping alone, some people can't walk home in the dark alone. Is it a self-esteem issue? Or a don't-want-to-get-kidnapped thing? Or an I'm-the-center-of-the-world thing? People always think that everyone is paying attention to everything that they're doing, which is absolutely not the case. But we think it's happening because, hello, who is more interesting to watch than I am?

I guess to end this off, I just have to say that if you have to eat alone (or if you WANT to eat alone, which is a total possibility that a lot of people don't think about) you just have to own it. And stop worrying that people are watching your every move.

Everything Is Dirty

I was listening to the radio today and a guy was talking about how gross it is to touch your phone and then eat with your bare hands. Think about all the places you've set your phone down, or how dirty your hands have been while you were holding your phone. Of course, I was listening to this just minutes after I'd held my phone in my teeth for a second while I was looking for my keys. I read something similar about purses and how they're actually the dirtiest things.

But this stuff doesn't really bother me. You can't always think about stuff like that because it just never ends. EVERYTHING IS DIRTY. Examples:

Let's think about eating at the food court in the mall. Maybe you washed your hands before eating, and there's that weird trust we all have in our food preparing associates that they did the same. But is the table you're eating at clean? Is the tray clean? Did those paper plates all fall on the ground but someone picked them up and decided to use them anyways? Did someone sample some food with that fork and then rinse it off and give it to you to use? Did a crazy person dip the plastic forks in the ebola virus while everyone else had their backs turned? The answer to all of these questions: Maybe. You can never be positive that everything is clean. For all you know, the factory that those utensils were made at is crawling with rats and they used the plastic fork boxes as a bathroom. You weren't there, you don't know.

The exact same situation can be applied to straws. Some people won't drink from cans because there might be mouse poop on the tops. How do you know there wasn't a straw accident where hundreds of straws were dropped all over the ground and then people just picked them up and put them in boxes anyways? Employees at Straws Inc. don't give a dingle whether your straws are clean or not, they just want to fix their problem as quickly as possible. And what if the dude who closes all the straw boxes had a runny nose or sneezed or something and got your straws all mucousy? You don't know.

What about in your own house? Is your table clean? I mean, I guess you can clean it and then you'll know it's clean... But is it REALLY clean? You can't see germs. How do you know they're not there? You probably missed only one germ, and it was the one that will kill you. Or something. I know it's not likely at all, but HOW DO YOU KNOW? Is that scary?

I think about my own house. My dog always sets his chin on the table because he thinks it makes him look cute so we'll give him food. But wait... Did he just go outside and munch on a rotting squirrel carcass? Did he just sniff a little too closely to a pile of coyote excrement? I DON'T KNOW. And even worse is that he sleeps in my bed.

The thing is, all you have to do is touch one unclean surface and then touch a clean surface with the same hand/elbow/wrist/forehead and boom, the clean surface is now unclean. Where am I going with this? Stop thinking about germs so much. It's pointless. But you should probably still wash your hands and shower. Use hand sanitizer and cough into your elbow crease, not onto your hands. There are obviously things we can do to prevent spreading more germs, but there is no way to prevent all germs, so why do we think about things like that so much and why do idiot radio hosts think it's a good idea to point out stupid things like this?

I Don't Give A Fork

Forks are, in my opinion, one of the most unnecessary human inventions.

Now you're probably coming up with all kinds of foods that you think require forks because they are messy. (For example, waffles, chicken parm, pasta, salad, etc.) But now I'm going to name a few "finger-foods" that can be equally as messy: S'mores, beaver tails, chillidogs, etc. 

Basically everything can be eaten with your hands. (I'll talk about spoons in a minute, just hold your freaking horsies.) You just have to get over this weird fear that people have of getting food on your hands. Want to know what's really tasty? Licking spaghetti sauce/pie filling/peanut butter/whatever off your fingers when you're done eating. 

Seriously, eating and classiness should not go together. I often find that my inner ravenous beast comes out when I'm eating, so I don't want to be held back by strategically gathering up my pasta with a pronged utensil. I want to use my extremely versatile fingers to scoop that stuff up and shove it in my mouth. But society says that this isn't allowed. We aren't allowed to go to East Side Mario's and cram handfuls of pasta into our pieholes with our hands because we would be gawked at and possibly even asked to leave. By why? Why do you care what method of transportation I use to get sustenance off my plate and into my mouth?

Fancy restaurants are overrated. Have you ever seen Eat St.? Holy, the food on that show looks amazing. And all of it is messy and none of it is fancy but everyone who is even in the vicinity of the food is happy as a clam. Have you ever been to a fancy restaurant? The portions are small and the food is placed in such a way that you don't even want to touch it because clearly someone just spent ten minutes balancing your steak on top of a scallop and drizzling just the right amount of sauce (or something. Do those go together?) And everyone is so "polite" or "dainty" or "anorexic" that they only eat 2 of their 5 $30 pasta shells and three pieces of lettuce (but mysteriously the wine is all gone.)

Okay, so, back to utensils. Spoons. Spoons are used for slightly messier foods, ones that are more liquidy, in case you weren't sure. However, that are not necessary. I wouldn't necessarily suggest eating soup with your hands although it IS possible. But some of it may drip through the cracks and wasting is shameful. However, here's a fun tip: soup can be drunk (Drank? Drinked?) just like water (with big chunks floating in it.) And yogurt/pudding/ice cream/etc. can all be eaten with your hands, I've done it. 

Knives? Butter knives are dumb. They can barely even be used as weapons. Just slather it on there with your fingers. Whatever.

"But who cares whether or not we use forks and spoons?" Lot's of people. Think of how many resources are used up by manufacturing utensils. They're constantly being lost and broken so people need new ones. A monkey could find a lost fork and use it to stab out the eyeball of the monkey king. (Monkeys have monarchies right?) And plastic utensils?! They get left in landfills to pump toxins into the environment and dolphins are probably choking on them in the ocean.

And think about how much time could be saved if we didn't have to teach toddlers how to manage forks? We could just let them go ahead with their primal instincts and use their chubby little hands. (Shut up, people who point out that monkeys shove sticks into anthills. That's not even the same thing and you know it.) Plus there's no more need to embarrass yourself with airplane/choo choo train sounds while you're feeding your kid.

I think the main idea to take away from all this, however, is that society puts too much pressure on us while we're eating. Eating is one of the most natural things we can do. Do you think cavemen took the time to arrange their food and strategically place their cutlery before meals? No! Do you think they wiped their mouths on their napkins and held in their burps until they were alone in the bathroom later? No! Do you think they casually sipped their chardonnay with one pinky out? No!

I think we should all go back to our roots, and eat with our hands. We have soap and we have handwashing tutorial videos on Youtube. There is no reason that we should be afraid of germs. In fact, in a lot of cases, I question the cleanliness of cutlery in restaurants. I'm willing to bet that the guy whose credit card didn't work, who is paying off his bill by cleaning dishes in the back, isn't doing a very good job.

So, at your next dinner party, remember to not give a fork and eat with your hands.

Let's Save The Environment

So, if global warming is the big deal that everyone says it is (ACTUALLY, I suggest you look up "global cooling" because that's actually much more terrifying) I think we should be sacrificing our lavish lifestyles a little more, don't you think? So, I have made a list of some ideas that I have to save the environment!

1. Tear out toilets. Toilets are, in my opinion, kind of the most pointless human invention out there. Like, even more pointless than *insert whatever human invention you think is the most pointless here*. If we really want to save the environment, we would stop pooping into our fresh water and instead we would drop our waste in holes in the ground and use our poop as fertilizer or fuel or maybe even act like rabbits and eat it a second time to get out ALL the nutrients. (Sorry, maybe that one was too far.)
2. Night Vision Goggles. No more lights. Just goggles. If you can't get yourself some goggles, this is not our problem. Get goggles or you will be attacked on the street in the night or stub your toes at least 16 times a day because lights will no longer be allowed.
3. Remove remote controls. This would not only save a lot of batteries for more important things like all the intense situations in Duracell commercials, but it would also pretty much a. solve obesity (Getting up to change the channel is basically a work out for some people.) and b. encourage kids to read more (Because I would sure as hell rather read than stand at the TV and flick through the channels until I find something good to watch.) which are two extreme first world problems, I believe.
4. Work while you work out. People are at the gym on the treadmill or that stationary bike thing (I don't go to the gym, I don't know names) and all that precious energy is completely going to waste. We need to hook that stuff up to something rather and use all of the generated energy for other things instead of just pumping it randomly out into the wilderness. This one seems beyond obvious to me and I bet aliens have already figured out how to secretly harness all of the energy that is created on those bike things. Also, all track races should take place on a track that can take advantage of the energy somehow as well. Like, in human sized hamster wheels. This idea has probably already been explored but I don't see why we aren't doing it. Gym classes in schools - instead of running laps you do a few minutes on the hamster wheel to charge up the lights. It's the same thing as laps so it's not unethical!
5. The Subway solution. Statistics say that Subway restaurants cause 15% of the content in landfills due to the amount of paper they use when they wrap up their subs. (Note: There may not actually be any statistics that say this.) If Subway used less paper, we would pretty much have this crisis taken care of and we would also be able to eat our subs without folding, tearing, crumpling and swearing.

Share your ideas in the comment section!

Bacon

Okay, so pretty much every person who loves their taste buds loves bacon. I love bacon. You love bacon. Vegetarians love bacon but they'll deny it. I don't consider vegans to be people so it doesn't matter if they love bacon or not. (I really hope I don't have to tell you that this is a joke.) As far as bacon loving goes, however, I'm actually kind of picky. So, I've decided to dedicate this post to some bacon related things. I don't really know why. For lack of anything else to write about, I suppose.

I want to just throw out there that when it comes to this particular post I give exactly zero Fs about healthiness and longevity or whatever so GET OUT OF HERE, HEALTHY PEOPLE. Although turkey bacon is pretty tasty as well, so there's that.

I seem to have somehow given people the idea that I am a bacon fanatic. Don't get me wrong. I love it and would eat it constantly, all day. But there are certain ways that it is prepared that I have been known to say no to, if I'm not in the mood.

1. It has to be crispy. Not chewy. My brothers are the exact opposite so you can see how this may cause a problem when it comes to family breakfasttime. However, props to them because they ALWAYS make sure to save me bacon when they make it. So I eat the chewy flesh even though it kind of feels like I might as well be just gnawing on a live pig. 
2. Bacon on pizza. Not for me. Pizza is my favourite, and I love bacon, but I don't care for them together, usually. Not that I wouldn't eat multiple slices of pizza with bacon on it. It's just not one of the toppings I would choose. (For the record, my preference is pepperoni, sausage and green olives.)
3. You can maybe assume from #1 that bacon on any sandwich is good IF it is crispy. Same goes for burgers. Fun bacon tip: Get the microwavable stuff. It takes barely any time at all to get super crispy in the microwave AND it is surprisingly delicious. Good for sammies.
4. When I'm at a restaurant for breakfast I always choose sausage over bacon. Every time. Some days when I'm feeling particularly fat and hungry I will ask for bacon as well as sausage, but it's never my first choice. Ham is never even an option, in my mind. And I don't even know what peameal (or Canadian) bacon is. It sounds weird.

Here are some delicious and/or disgusting things that have happened regarding bacon in my life:

• Candied bacon. Like, Epic Meal Time style. This turns some people off because they're FOOD WIMPS. I have no time for food wimps. You can't assume you're going to dislike it, you just have to try it. This is my belief when it comes to anything food related.

• These bacon cups. Delicious and easy to make. Fill them with mac and cheese or scrambled eggs or if you're concerned about dying a death by calories you could use them as a bowl for salad. We also made smaller ones with candied bacon, filled them with melted chocolate and a piece of strawberry. Those were maybe the greatest thing in the history of things but they were consumed too quickly for pictures. Note: This really only works with two layers of bacon. One layer and they fall apart.

• Confession time. Once, I ate the piece of bread that was used to soak up the bacon grease. (This is the disgusting thing. I'm almost ashamed of myself. Almost.) I don't really know why, I guess I was just curious, and I mean, why should the dogs be the only ones to try it? But, I think curiosity almost killed this cat because my heart started beating pretty slowly. So, don't try that one, even though I know everyone wonders what it tastes like (I hope everyone does. Don't tell me I'm the only fat, disgusting one here. You're the one who clicked this post just because it's called "Bacon.") I think it was good, but the aftereffects were not so great so I will not be giving it a second chance

• This bacon-infused beer. It was pretty heavy stuff, so only one glass for me, please. But bacon+beer probably cannot go wrong. Right? Plus, it's called Aporkalypse Now which is hilarious and fantastic. I'm almost positive that this beer was only being brewed for a limited time, though, so it is possible you'll never get to try it, if you haven't tried it already. Sorry for the poor picture quality. That's Hog's Back Brewing Company, if you can't see it.

• Bacon candy canes. Don't EVER eat these. They taste like ashes on the ground after a pig farm burned down. Do, however, give them to your friends and tell them that they're cherry flavoured.

Okay, so I'm going to end this post with a quote from my mother, for all the animal rights people who somehow haven't been turned back on to bacon after the sizzley, delicious looking photos above. 

"If we aren't supposed to eat pigs, why do they look like roasts with legs?"

She's such a smart lady. 

Anyways, share your bacon adventures in the comments. I'd like to try new bacon related things. And don't give me any crap about vegan bacon, for God's sake, because this is how I feel about it -> YOUTUBE LINK THAT I DO NOT OWN.

Don't Eat Plants

I can't even believe the selfishness of some humans, honestly. Like just because we have all of this technology and higher cognitive function we can prey on whatever weaker species we like. And these other beings try SO HARD to stay alive. They have mechanisms and processes going on inside of them that the average person can't even begin to understand. I'm talking about plants, you guys. Poor, innocent plants.

Plants provide our world with nothing but beauty. Gorgeous forests, stunning fields of flowers, gardens that take your breath away. But humans come along, all high and mighty, and pluck these plants out of the ground like they're nothing.
It's like if elephants developed some kind of super powers and became invincible (probably after a nuclear war) then decided they would start eating humans. They could just come along and snatch you out of your car and there would be nothing you could do about it. That's what it's like when humans eat plants.

And VEGETARIANS!? They have the nerve of eating only plants. The weakest of all species on Earth and these monsters prey specifically on them. And they'll argue that they just take the fruit. That the plant will be okay. But that apple is the plant's OVARY. Yeah. What if a giant came along and plucked your ovaries out? Doesn't seem so harmless now, does it? I don't even know how vegetarians can live with themselves. They prey on the weakest of living things. They're the cruelest of humans.

"But plants don't feel anything!" Umm.. did a plant tell you that it can't feel anything? No!

Animals? Animals are pests. Animals root through our garbage and destroy our yards. They steal our babies and defecate on our cars. Plants have never done a bad thing. Except for what, grow through cracks in your sidewalk? Fallen over on your house because ANIMALS have damaged its physical stability?

If we really are a higher species, if we really are a progressive and caring race, we would do something about this issue. Have a heart. Join me. Join in the fight to protect our plant friends. Don't eat plants. 

A Look Inside "A Piece of Cake"

I want to start this post off with a disclaimer: REGARDLESS of the magical rule, "i" before "e" except after "c," I almost ALWAYS spell words like "piece" incorrectly. Hopefully spellcheck is on my side today and this doesn't become a problem. If I do mess up and you choose to point it out, I WILL (imagine myself) paying a hit man to have you "rubbed off," "popped," "whacked," etc. (Why are ALL Mafia slang words for killing also words for ... well... you know.)

Okay, that's over with. Now, it's time for us to examine the common idiom "a piece of cake."
DON'T YOU DARE EXIT THIS PAGE!
Yes, we are looking at "a piece of cake." Why are we doing this? We're doing this because I just spent approximately 10 minutes wondering what that really, truly, actually means (and 10 minutes is a long time in this sporadic head of mine.)

Yes, something that is, "a piece of cake" is something that is "easy." Simple. No problem. A walk in the park. Child's play. A no-brainer. Duck soup (Whaaat? I just googled "piece of cake synonyms." I have no idea what that one means.)

But why is a piece of cake "easy?"

Is it because cake is easy to eat? Well, yes, it is. But it's not the easiest thing to eat. A slice of pizza doesn't even require a fork unless you're a pompous lunatic so it is seemly a much "easier" food.

Plus cake is messy. Have you seen any kid's birthday pictures? So, cake is not easy clean up unless you lick the plate, fork, table AND kid clean.

And cake is certainly not the easiest thing to make for the baking-challenged (me.) And have you SEEN some of those super fancy, cool looking cakes before? Like, one's that look like television characters or whatever? Those are the BEST, right? But the average person will never make them because the average person isn't amazing (sorry to break it to you.)


Maybe it's that cake is a simple food. I don't think this is the case because cakes have layers (Shrek reference goes here somewhere.) They're complex. Chocolate layers, vanilla layers, custard layers, ice cream layers, icing, sprinkles. Cakes have a lot going on under the surface, you know what I mean? They're not an easy food to understand, you see?

And cakes don't symbolize easy things. They symbolize change. You buy someone a cake to celebrate something that is happening in their lives, something new. Change is not easy. Even good change creates stress and emotions. Cake is there to sooth the pain, that's the point of it, right? But change is not an easy thing to soothe. (Although seriously, if you're gonna sooth the pain of change with something, might as well do it with cake.)

The only thing that is easy about cakes is how easy it is to destroy them. Drop it, knock it over, shove someone's face into it. Is that what people mean? Are cakes "easy" because they're vulnerable?

 I feel as if I've been left with more questions than answers. If anyone can please help me to figure out the true meaning behind "a piece of cake" it would be greatly appreciated. Also, if anyone could send me some cake I would forget about the whole issue completely. If you send me a cake that looks like me, I will probably put you in my will in the future, okie dokie?

7 Reasons You Look Super Cool Drinking Beer (Or Super Lame Not Drinking Beer)

1. When you have a beer, and people around you don't have a beer, everyone else wants a beer, and thus become extremely jealous that you have one. This is fairly simple and obvious. Even people who don't like beer are hypnotised by how thirst-quenching it looks, and I don't know anyone who would deny that.

2. You're not drinking a wimpy vodka cooler. Trust me a cooler does not make you look cooler, despite the misleading name. Vodka coolers are for wimps. (Note: I'm going to be completely honest and admit that coolers are too sweet for me and make me throw up every time, but that little issue is saving me from a whole lot of looking super lame.) No song has every been written about someone with an ice-cold Woody's in their hand.

3. Pointing at stuff with your beer bottle. You cannot point at stuff with a wine glass. You cannot point at stuff with a rye and coke. The only thing that is cooler than pointing with a beer is pointing with a cigarette but smoking is bad for you, so the beer will have to do (because alcohol has no negative effects on your life or health whatsoever).

4. You don't look like a pretentious jerk. (UNLESS you're drinking an obscure, unheard of, super expensive, gluten-free beer. Then you look like an a-hole.) When you're drinking scotch, you just kind of look like a snob, unless you're at a country club or have a monocle.

5. You look like a fun time. Everyone knows that people who drink beer are fun and laid back. But not too fun that you're going to be arrested (vodka) or end up naked in public (tequila).

6. It's like a special club. People will share their beer with you. If you're a known beer drinker, fellow beer lovers will share their brews with you, simply because you didn't have one in your hand at that second. No one shares their coolers like that because you can only but them four at a time. And no one's going to mix you a drink with their rum.

7. Because you're obviously loving your beer, and that makes you cool. Okay, that one's pretty stupid, but "6 reasons for something" for some reason sounds kinda lame.

Share any other reasons you can think of and be entered for a chance to win a beer*!







*You will not really win a beer, but you can go to your fridge and get one if you want.

Taking "you look good enough to eat" to the Next Level

I don't know if you've been paying attention to the news (and if you haven't, stop reading right now and go live in a cave, because ignorance is most definitely bliss in this case) but honestly what is up with the increase of totally vulgar and disgusting crimes?! There are specifically four that come to mind here.

1. Guy chews off another guys face
2. Guy sends body parts to Canadian political parties
3. Guy disembowels himself and throws his insides at some cops
4. Guy kills his roommate and then eats his brain and heart

So obviously the best explanation for most of this is the zombie apocalypse. Duh.

Or maybe we should be blaming drugs. Or the psychological stresses of everyday life in America. Who knows if all of these things have anything in common. Are we breathing in a toxin that's turning us all into blood-thirsty lunatics?! Well, probably. Who knows how all the chemicals we've pumped into the air are mixing and effecting our bodies. Is our competitive nature really getting the best of us like this? (It's a human eat human world out there.) Are reality shows driving people completely mad!? Or is it all a big coincidence? (Secretly, this is my theory, although I like to pretend that I think people are just taking the saying, "you look good enough to eat" waaaay too seriously.)

I'm not going to address how disgusting and blah blah blah whatever this whole thing is. You can figure that out for yourself, I hope. If you don't see what's wrong here, then you're probably going to be featured on the news pretty soon as well. Hey, maybe it's the fame game that's making people crazy. ([eat] skin to win.)

Well, I've used enough bad jokes here, and I think you get the point. So goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let the zombies bite.

Alene

This One's For the Health Nuts

This rant is brought to you by my cheese dust covered keyboard.

Okay, so I'm pretty sick of people telling me what I should and shouldn't eat. I know most people probably agree (unless you're those evil healthy freaks, in which case you've already scrolled down to the comment section to tell me I'm an idiot and my orange juice is going to kill me.) I'll eat what I want, okay?! I'm not fat, by any means (now, I'm not exactly Keira Knightly either. On that note, I could probably eat Keira Knightly in one sitting.) but I eat basically what I want. And what is it that I want to eat? The same thing everyone wants to eat, Pinky: pizza, popcorn, various cheeses, tacos and the occasional giant bowl of ice cream.

There's a few reasons why I genuinely don't give a flying fudgesicle about what all these health people have to say.

1. I'm not going to torture myself by eating broccoli all the time when I could be munching zesty cheese Doritos. This isn't to say that I don't like veggies, because they're pretty tasty. I've found very few foods that I do not enjoy. And I know that some people would call me stuffing my face with expensive chocolates and cheeses totally selfish because poor kids in Africa don't have food. Honestly people, I do my part when it comes to charity, so back off. There's no reason to eat something that I don't like, when that box of toaster strudel has opened up the freezer door to wave at me.

2. We're all going to die eventually, Dummy. No matter what you do, how you eat, how often you exercise, you're going to croak someday. And I DO NOT want my final thoughts to be, "Oh, crap, I wish I'd gotten a popcorn refill the last time I went to the movies. Extra butter."

3. Food is culture. I love to travel, and there's no way I'm going to not taste every local delicacy once or twice or until the whole plateful is gone. To understand a culture, you have to taste it (or that's what I tell myself after I'm laying in a food coma.)

Okay, so, let's sum this up. Ahem, food is good. Stop telling me I can't put ketchup on stuff (Dr. "Stupid" Oz.) Stop telling me orange juice is bad. I've been drinking it as part of a balanced breakfast my whole life and I like the commercials where the oranges do olympic events and junk. I don't always make the fattest choices. When it comes to pizza I prefer thin crust (although to be honest I would eat a pizza that had been dropped on the floor or sprayed with radiation.)

And I'm all cool with those of you who chose to live a certain way, and be all super healthy, just stop telling me about it. I honestly don't care, and the more you say about what I shouldn't eat, the hungrier I get.

Please note: I am NOT supporting the growing obesity is problem in North America. Clearly it is possible to eat what you want without looking like Majin Buu from Drangonball Z (It's a good reference, google it.)

Anyway, that's about all I have on that topic for now. (Just kidding. I'm positive you'll be seeing rants about vegetarian/vegans and people who won't feed their dogs dry dog food.) Don't forget to ask for double cheese.

Alene