Socks Are NOT Our Friends

Socks are the worst.

For one, socks are always lost. They're like the "drunk friend that you lose on the streets" of clothing. Everyone blames the dryer for this phenomenon, but I really don't think that's the case.
I'm almost positive that every sock comes with it's own personal ghost foot that puts that sock on and walks away with it whenever it pleases. I have literally set a sock down in a specific place so that I would remember where it was, and it has disappeared. This cannot be blamed on the dryer.

But the worst part about socks is holes. Like, you know when your big toe starts poking through a hole in your sock? And of course your big toe is super ticklish so you're dying inside but you're at a job interview or something important and you can't make any "oh my sweet jeepers, that tickles" faces or take your shoe off and rearrange your sockage so you just continue dying inside.
Or when you're at a house party and you have to take your shoes off because the host just got new carpet and oh dear, there's a hole in your sock and people might catch glimpses of your Frodo feet.

Socks are just unreliable. Socks are not our friends. Your favourite, nice, toasty warm sweater is your friend. Your jeans that fit you perfectly even after multiple Christmas dinners are your friends. (Why are "jeans" and "pants" plural even though they're just one clothing article? English is also the worst.) But socks are most absolutely not your friends. Possibly something to do with the fact that you use them to cover your disgusting feet and stick them in your disgusting shoes and you step on them like all the time (which of course is even worse after Christmas dinners.)

Socks are mischievous little sprites out to ruin all of our days. One little wrinkle and you can't concentrate on a single thing in the entire world. Godzilla could be stepping on the car next to you and you're still wiggling your foot around in your shoe.

Not saying we should be giving up socks. I'm just saying that they're a burden. One which we all must bear. Or wear. Or something.