The Boring Facebook Status Guide

This is just a very short list of Facebook statuses that drive me absolutely crazy. Of course, it is very possible that additions to this will be made over time.

Starting your Facebook status with the following:
"Out with..." - the boys, the ladies, Scooby and the Gang.
"Officially..." - a high school grad, sixteen and pregnant, drinking age, a G1 driver.
"So blessed..." - to have a wonderful husband, to have a great job, to be blissfully oblivious.

Ending your Facebook status with the following:
"_____ bound!" - {insert city name}, {insert country name}, homeward.
"... for the night!" - with the girls, drunk, stats homework.

Okay, so I know that these are common things that people want to talk about on Facebook. Who you're hanging with, what's going on in your life, why you're happy, etc. I'm not concerned about the content of what you're saying as much as I'm frustrated that everyone has to say it in the exact same way. It gets boring to read your entire newsfeed and get the exact same wording for every other status. I promise you, people, there are a thousand other ways to say this stuff. And we all know the people who post these things constantly. They never write a status that isn't in the typical Facebook way. I'm not saying that doing this occasionally isn't totally fine, either. I know when you're out on the town or whatever, maybe you want your jealous ex boyfriend to see the status ASAP, so you don't want to spend 20 minutes thinking of a creative way to say it. So, this is possibly forgivable once or twice (I said POSSIBLY.) So, are we clear here? Let's make our stati just a teensy weensy bit more interesting, okay?

Oh, and there's more:
Lyrics. More specifically: lyrics that four other people have posted just minutes before you. No one wants to read the same lyrics more than once on their newsfeed. You're boring everyone.                I don't care how much you think that Luke Bryan song relates to your life right now. If someone claimed to be "drunk on you and high on summertime" two minutes before you did, you should maybe think about picking a different life theme song.

One of those internet cliche little saying things. You know what I mean. You read them on those little posters on Pinterest and then you just decide to write the thing down in your status. Yeah, it's funny, but a billion other people have posted the same thing. And there's the issue of figuring out what you actually made up and what you straight up stole from other people. This one isn't 100% annoying all the time though because there are some truly hilarious little thingys out there. This goes for quotes as well. (Have you read my view on internet quotes and these little poster things? Marilyn Monroe Didn't Even Say That Stuff)

"Like for truth is."/"tbh"/"Like for .... {anything.}" I've actually seen the same person post this status like ten different times and still get people to respond. I've always thought that this is ridiculous, because we all know that whatever the person is writing about your wall "truthfully," they're lying. I've never seen a mean thing written on anyone's wall and I'm not condoning internet bullying but seriously? You do not like everyone. There are people that irritate you all the time and no one is ever going to write it on Facebook.

"{random word} :(" or ":(" We don't know what you're talking about and we kind of don't care. Sure, there's the occasional person that will ask, "hey man, what's going on?" and half the time the statuser will say, "I don't want to talk about it." So why did you post it?! This is almost worse than the boring status itself.

"ttc" or "pin:..." Thank you, I'll be sure to text you just because you told me to, person I met once at orientation and have never seen again. Or girl from highschool who never talked to me. Or person who has never texted me in my life. Yes, I will just go grab my phone and give you a shout. And blackberry users, thanks so much. Your pin will be so useful when I try to text you from my iPhone.

So what is this whole thing about? It's about how boring, predictable, unimaginative, and repetitive Facebook has gotten. (Did you see what I did there? Those are all synonyms but they're all a little bit different so like, you can say stuff in different ways? Ahhh, I'm sorry, nevermind.) So little creativity is put into anything that is posted there these days. On the internet, no one wants to read what you have to say if there isn't something special about it. And it's unfortunate, but for the most part, no one even pays attention to you once you're known for posting mundane and stereotyped stuff. So when you actually have something interesting or exciting to say, no one will even notice. It's the truth. The internet is too fast paced and changes too quickly for anyone to bother with any of this boring junk. That being said, I'm sure your mom loves to read you status no matter what it says, so if you're only trying to impress her, keep it up.

Note: I understand that a lot of people have written posts like this, making this a slightly hypocritical post.

What are some statuses that drive you nuts? Let me know. Feedback is my favourite. (You're allowed to tell me I suck, too.)