You'll Probably Never Catch 'Em All

I write this at the risk of sounding super lame (I'm just kidding. Everyone loves Pokemon.)

Quick background! My mom works with a kindergarten kid who loves Pokemon, so we were at Walmart fairly recently looking for Pokemon cards for him.
Now, I am an avid Pokemon lover, I would never ever deny it. (Some may call me a Pokemon Master, I dunno.) I can name all original Pokemon, pretty close to the correct order. You can test me on it later. I recently got my wisdom teeth out and spent most of my recovery time playing Pokemon Crystal. (I KNOW, this was after the introduction of new characters, but I've come to accept the first additions.) I'm not embarrassed to admit any of these things. ANYWAYS, looking through the Pokemon section of Walmart, THIS is that we find:

I don't even know what this is. Pokemon used to be cute and awesome. This thing is just confusing. Is that a dragon? What?! No, this is a dragon:

Cute but also awesome. See how that works?

So, I decided to check out some more of these new Pokemon. Here are some of the more ridiculous ones that they've recently come out with:

This thing is just a flying sarcophagus.

  

These two remind me of some monsters from Yu Gi Oh (I'm going to pretend I don't know the name of the Yu Gi Oh look-a-likes, but I definitely know them.) They're just way too intense and terrifying. Remember, I said CUTE is key.

This is an ice cream cone. They called it Vanillish. When you start making monsters that look like delicious treats, that's when you need to stop. I think?

These guys are wearing clothes. Where did you get your clothing, little pokemon?

Honest to goodness, this guy is called Garbodor and he is a pile of garbage. Who was like, "yeah, let's make this dude, he's like a walking pile of trash. That will be awesome."

This guy is actually super cool and I approve of him for some reason.

So what I'm getting at... well, I don't really know. But my inner child is sad about these new things. Wasn't the point of the game to "catch 'em all?" How is anyone supposed to catch them all when they keep making new ones? (Although the people who are making these things are definitely catching all the money, am I right?)

I've spent over half my life enjoying Pokemon and I don't feel like the original 150 ever get old. I don't know, they were just awesome. If I think about it too hard, I actually get a little sad that we just have boring cats and dogs and Ash and Misty and friends got awesome pokemon as companions. (Please don't think I'm weird and lame. I'm only saying what everyone else has thought before. I think.)

And when you really think about it... how f****** dumb are the people living in the land of Pokemon? Are you telling me that you didn't notice that there was this giant pile of garbage running around? Someone just happened upon it one day and now it's abundant all over the place? No.

So, I like to ruin fun children's things and think about them too much. But what do you think? Yes or no to the new Pokemon? Do you care? Do you even know what I'm talking about? Comment away, my friends.